I recently observed to my mom that the definitive phrase of my tenure as a mother might be Empty Threats, but now I'm thinking that Hypocrisy is going to be up there, too. I still cannot believe that the phrase "We don't say 'stupid' in our house" came out of my mouth [see sidebar]. The truth is, we do say stupid in our house, probably every day. I consider stupid a perfectly acceptable adjective for anything that does not do exactly what I want exactly when I want it to do it. In fact, Carter probably learned the word from me in the first place.
So why my hypocritical law-laying? Maybe it was my parents' voices echoing around in my head and tumbling out without my realization. Growing up, a whole lot of gateway words were taboo in our home. In fact, my parents probably could have created a handbook entitled "101 Words We Don't Say in Our House, Complete with Acceptable Alternatives." (For example, we could say bum or bottom but not butt, and we absolutely could not say fart, but had our choice of the more delicate - get this - fluff or break wind.) But I think the truth is that I just get shocked whenever I hear anything not-so-becoming from my otherwise cherubic little ones. While it's not terrible to hear a bigger person use words like dumb or shut up, I hate hearing my kids say them. Maybe I just don't see them as grown-up enough for those words yet. Maybe I don't ever want them to be.
As for the empty threats, I've rectified that situation by switching from "You're going to get a time-out," to "Would you like a time-out?" That way, I'm not threatening a punishment that we all know I'm not going to follow through on. But I don't know what I'm going to do about the naughty-word hypocrisy. I guess I either need to stop using the words myself, or else allow my little ones to utter stupid and other semi-unthinkables. It's going to be a tough decision ... I'll have to get back to you.
9 comments:
that was fuuny, We had a million words we couldnt say in out home,my mom said instead of saying "that sucks" we should say "that vaccums" her thought was VACCUMS= SUCK BUT DONT SOUND AS MEAN.
My kids think the word "stupid" is a bad word. I wouldn't let them use it because I didn't want them thinking it was okay to call each other stupid.
I, on the other hand, use the word stupid quite frequently, as in "this stupid computer", "This commercial is stupid" and more than once I might have used the word to describe someone driving on the freeway. (There's a ton of stupid people with a driver's license)
I like your replacement word for fart. Growing up, we referred to them as "winders." Currently, in our home we say that someone tooted.
Just curious, when you ask your kids if they want a time out, do they ever say yes? ;0)
Also, you've really got your hands full. (93)
I mentioned to Scott the other day that we use words daily that when we do have children we should probably not say, since kids will repeat just about anything they hear. Growing up as a child we were not allowed to say fart (it was tooted), sucks, or even booger (my mom hates this word) anyway we are now living with my parents while Scott is in school and it's funny to say something and get that look of disapproval or "Kimberly you know we don't use those words in this house" :)
That sounds pretty much just like my house then and now! :)
I can totally relate. We told Eric that stupid was a garbage can word, then we had ourselves a nice little garbage word vigilante on our hands. Alec is usually to blame, I have to say. Yesterday, he had Eric wipe down the table and he told him that he missed a spot by his crotch. Crotch!? Is that really a word he needs in his vocabulary right now?
Great writing, by the way. I still want you to email me a your article for the magazine!
Hi Jill,
To answer your question: yes. My three-year-old ALWAYS picks a time-out over eating his dinner. It's very frustrating - what am I supposed to say to that? (It's usually, "Well, too bad. You don't get to go to time out. Now eat.")
Hi Katie,
I love your blog!!! Oh boy, you have your hands full! (I think that makes 94)
Hey, you gotta look at the bright side: at least you don't have a Caleb.
This one cracked me up...it is amazing how awful some things sound when they come out of a toddler's mouth. After spending 2 weeks at my parents' house with their dumb dog, Will has all sorts of new vocabulary like "Shut up you stupid animal"...marvelous.
I am SOOOO with you on this! EXACT sentiments about the words not sounding so bad coming from an adult mouth, but hideous from little ones! We like the word "trump" for "fart." It's nice to bring some uncommon English words to America... :)
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