- Drew: "Mom, can you turn off the music? It's making my body dance, but I don't want to dance!"
- Adam: "I'm so happy that I'm alive!"
April
- Chris: "Can I have one of your Starbursts?" Adam: "You can have all of these over here." Chris: "Thanks, buddy!" Adam: "You're welcome. Those ones aren't mine. They're Haley's."
- Drew: "Mom, you can throw away all of my stuffed animals when I'm a grown up. 'Cause then I won't be scared of the dark anymore."
- Adam: "When robbers get caught by the police they have to go to jail. And they have to stay there until they promise that they will be good guys. And they have to take off their robber hats and shirts and put on good guy clothes."
- Adam: "Why are people so freakishly crazy about medals and trophies? I'm only crazy about money."
- Adam: "Mom. Jesus is a lightsaber." Me: "Jesus is a lightsaber? How so?" Adam: "He's a lightsaber because He saves people." Me: "I think you mean life-saver." Adam: "Oh yeah. That."
- Drew: "How old do you have to be to be President?" Chris: "Thirty-five." Drew: "That's OK. I'll just play with toys until then."
- Adam: "Mom, when I grow up I want to be President. I will ruuuule aaaall the states!"
- Adam: "This [dinner] is too healthy. I will need to eat some sugar to get rid of it."
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